grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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