if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
