My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
