OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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