and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
