i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
