On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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