i just google imaged poop.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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