porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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