Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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