so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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