The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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