Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
