I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Naked Twister starts at high noon
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
All the doctor said was why
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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