He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
