took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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