Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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