There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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