Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
