it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
