They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
