so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
NoShamevember. You game?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
