I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
