We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
