so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
