It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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