I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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