So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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