By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
