well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
