No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Randomize
