Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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