They should really pass out barf bags in church
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
