my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Randomize
