So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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