If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I deserve this hangover.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
