watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
