I must be too annoying 4 u.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sorry about my life...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
