So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
