Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
