I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
