My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
