My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
