This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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