i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You are a genius and a whore.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
