So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
