she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
