how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
