I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
