Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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