1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
