Midget sex pt 2 tonight
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
