The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize