I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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