Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
