with your own penis?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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