hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
