No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
this hospital has no fireball
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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