Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
