I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize