I want to stick my p in your. b.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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