I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
