Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
